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  • The Challenges of Dating And Getting Married To A Younger Man

     
    A wise woman once said that age is nothing but a number, and I totally agree with her. However, there is still a negative image in our society attached to women dating or marrying younger men, and are often labelled with unflattering names such as “cougars or cradle-snatchers.” The beginning of such a romance is scandalous most of the time, it still baffles me why society still finds it shocking when an older woman decides to date, or marry a younger man.
    My husband and I are living proof that it’s a relationship like any other, despite the age gap or  what society might say. I find that judgement persists, and it can lead to women feeling insecure about their age and aging in general. So when an older woman decides to marry a younger man society sees this as her violating the social norms, and for this she will suffer social judgement. Since marrying a younger husband deviates from what is regarded as normal, society thinks that it is acceptable to be negative and make silly and hurtful comments.

    This kind of relationship relies on the same things all relationships do, finding a person who shares your values, principles, interests and beliefs. Mutual respect, love, trust, companionship, and all the other crazy that comes with building a lasting relationship.
    My husband is ten years younger than me, and marrying a younger man was not part of my life plan. He is the same age as my baby sister. If you read my previous post about how we met at work and fell in love, you will read that we both tried fighting our feelings, however love took over, and I am happy it did. At the start of our relationship I had many moments where I questioned my decision because his mom was not happy and my family was shocked. I needed his reassurance all the time and asked him if he was sure that he wanted to be with me, and I also questioned why he wanted to be with me. My mind was telling me that he could so easily choose to be with someone his own age that looks younger and has less baggage.
      
    He just turned thirty in March and I turn forty in May. So we are both in our thirties for a whole two months Yay!:-) I used to play a sick game with myself whereby I would do the math in my head. When I was in matric how old was he, when I started working what grade was he etc. etc. and I would drive myself insane. I would think to myself when he turns forty I will be fifty and I started looking at other women in their fifties trying to gage what I will look like at that age.
    That is all behind me now I have accepted that he is younger and that won’t change. I love him so much and he loves me just as much. We are happy and age is really just a number. We have similar interests and enjoy each other to the full. Sometimes it feels like he is older, wiser and more mature…only sometimes! LOL:-)
      
    I love how much we love each other, and he just feels like home. We see each other as complete equals, and that really helps towards building a happy, loving and meaningful relationship. I have never experienced a love like this before. He takes his role as husband and step-dad very seriously, and he is amazing at it. I could not have chosen a better man to spend the rest of my life with.
      
    Moral of my story! Live your best life by creating a life for yourself that is a reflection of what fulfils you and makes you happy.
    Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey of love.
    Lots of Love
    Radia x

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    Radia Caswell
    Radia Caswell

    6 Comments

    1. March 29, 2018 / 11:47 am

      It takes strength, confidence and most importantly self love to make decisions you believe in. Too often people live in fear and conform to society’s rules. With more and more stories like these i am confident that more people will have the courage to be the best version of themselves rather than settle to have their hearts die in a cage. Thank you Citygoddess so much for sharing and I look forward to more of your realness and the many adventures you will encounter.

      • Radia
        Author
        March 29, 2018 / 12:36 pm

        Wow! thank you so much for taking the time to write this beautiful comment x

    2. Yasmine
      March 29, 2018 / 11:53 am

      Beautiful article

      • Radia
        Author
        March 29, 2018 / 12:35 pm

        Thank you so much Yasmine x

    3. March 29, 2018 / 1:25 pm

      Radia thank your for always being so open and honest. I have so much love and respect for you. It’s sad that in todays day and age that people are still so narrow minded and judge. I have been reading your posts and seeing your pictures onof Instagram and I love the love you too share. Your love is beautiful and true and honestly those who judge probably wish deep down that they had what you two share. Be happy, be free and be the beautiful couple that you are. There will always be someone judging and that’s okay. Others opinions do not matter. For me love has no colour, age or financial background. May you both be blessed with a lifetime of love and happiness.

      • Radia
        Author
        March 29, 2018 / 2:25 pm

        Thank you so much Taryn. You are always so kind and that is a true reflection of the beautiful soul that you are. Keep on inspiring and may you be blessed with peace, love and happiness always x

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