Getting remarried? Wondering how to do it the “right” way? First of all, remember what feels best and most comfortable to you can’t be wrong.
On the 09th of September 2017, after almost two years together, my boyfriend presented me with a ring we designed together. We spoke about getting married before but the deal was that I won’t know when he was going to pop the question. How could I refuse?
We agreed that we wanted an intimate get together with our close family and a few friends. So nothing big or too fancy, we wanted it to be fun and memorable. You know, something “appropriate” for a third-time bride. After all, I was about to turn the big 4-0, a divorced mother of four, this was definitely not my first rodeo. My husband to be has never been married, has no kids and is ten years my junior.
We excitedly broke the news to our family and friends, everyone was very happy for us. My mind was running away with me with ideas, doubts and fears about what would be appropriate in my situation. I had to find a dress, pick out invitations and figure out ceremony logistics – wondering: what does appropriate actually mean for a third-time bride?
I really had to take a deep breath and ask myself this very important question! – Do I choose what makes me happy, or do I try and please everyone else? So once I decided that it was my wedding, my day and my rules I started planning the wedding I wanted.
I found that magazines and websites are filled with endless information for first-time brides – everything from how to announce your engagement, plan your dream wedding, hair-makeup, décor, the ceremony, and even what to expect on your wedding night. Sure, there was a few articles about “second-wedding etiquette,” “how to include your children in the ceremony” or “dress ideas for the second or third time bride. The best advice I can give to you is the following! – “You’re the bride! Wear whatever you like and feel comfortable in”. From the wedding dress to the vows, plan your wedding with confidence and class irrespective if it’s your second, third or fourth…
Whether you’re divorced or widowed, if you’re getting married for a second time (or more) you have been blessed with another chance of life-long love and happiness. So don’t stress and try to make everyone else happy. Focus on what you like and want, and ask your fiancé for his opinion and only involve people who are positive and won’t try and bully you into things their way.
We opted for a small beach wedding, and we catered for 35 people. The venue was beautiful and did the catering which made things very easy. It was an inside venue with beautiful views and access to a private beach. We decided to hire a photographer because I don’t have photos of my previous unions. I personally don’t like posing for photos because it makes me super awkward, but this was a day I wanted to remember forever.
We added some fun twists to our reception by hiring a photo booth with various fun props, this was thoroughly enjoyed by the adults and kids. All guests got at least one photo to take home with the bride and grooms name and date of the wedding on it. Best of all we got a photo book and each guest got to stick a photo in and write a message to the bride and groom. At the entrance of the venue we had a table with a big frame and inside was our names and wedding date in the shape of a heart. There was small wooden shaped hearts and all guests could leave messages for us.
My first question was, – Can I wear a white dress? I googled frantically so see what the big wide web had to say, and I got mixed responses. I opted for an off white dress that was long but not too busy, and it had a bit of a sleeve. I wanted a dress with some lace detail and I got just that. I bought my wedding dress from Zando online, I still can’t believe that I did that, but my dress was perfect. So ladies, get your white on if you so wish! Please don’t think you need to tone down because it’s not your first wedding.
Invitations & Seating Cards
We decided to not do invitations and invited everyone in person or via email. However, if you decide to do it the traditional way your invitations should be worded like any other wedding invitation. We designed our own seating cards and had them professionally printed, and even decorated it ourselves.
Vows & Speeches
We had a Muslim wedding so there were no vows, but again this should not differ from any other wedding vows. You are speaking from the heart, and declaring your love to one another. We did have some one or two speeches at the end of the evening.
Involvement of Children
Depending on the ages of the children, they can definitely be involved with the planning. From décor to music selection I am sure this could be fun. There are several ways to involve the children in the wedding if that is what they want.
We had a very small reception and told our guests beforehand that we did not want any gifts. All we wanted was for them to grace us with their presence on our beautiful day. We were already living together and did not need anything. Some quests still brought gifts and we were so grateful. If you choose to do a wedding registry – go ahead do it as you would for a first marriage. I know many couples who choose not to register for a second or subsequent wedding or even if they have been living together for a while before deciding to get married because they feel like they already own the items that they need for everyday life.
In closing, remember that you are busy planning a joyous occasion in Your life, and the only opinion that matters other than yours is that of your fiancé. So forget about what society deems fit and keep it real, do what makes You happy and the rest will fall into place.
Have Fun, and Happy planning x